The *uckenings reinvented

My last entry has been a little too much on the serious side, so Jadenchong decided to login firing upcoming trends at me. The 90’s are about to celebrate a massive comeback. Needless to say, Jaden is at her best sending old pictures of her former bangs. To be fair, I have to say this is a pleasant refreshment. Thank you Jadenchong. You’ve been missed. Our conversation just became stagnant when I mentioned my issues with the ongoing uniboob movement. (Universal boobs). An eye candy that just snuck into fashion and I can’t put my finger on the exact moment it manifested. What happened to the braless era? Now they all look alike and we all know the variety is far too immense for them to be squeezed into identical cages. Individual boobs have been pushed to the brink of extinction. How sad.

Apart from finding trends, Jadenchong has also been doing some valuable research.

Planes are flying over China again while there’s not much going on in the Australian airspace. Interesting.

Women in Tajikistan aren’t allowed to pluck their eyebrows before marriage. Virgin eyebrows. Unibrows. Nice.

One Gram of alcohol will kill 0.02 Grams of brain cells. Hang on. I don’t believe it. At the same time 0.02 Grams of damaged brain cells equal 7 days of aging. No way. I don’t believe it Jaden. This can’t be true.

She also decided to create a hashtag for herself: #Jadenchongfunfacts following the fact that farts can be kept 10 years in a sealed container. I repeat. Farts can be contained for 10 years. Now this will keep the afterworld on their toes. But I do get her point. We’re all getting older and time passes quickly for many. So far all of us 5 are childless and no one will carry on our genes. Maybe a contained fart would be a solution. This thought moved Jaden deeply and she ended up in a rabbit hole of information and unnecessary facts causing her a late night meltdown about time and space. Where have the old days gone? Into the past Jaden, where they belong.

Miss Rambos birthday is today. She’s turning forty believe it or not. For some reason she still looks like 25 and I have to admit she always did. She’s just one of those people that do not age! It can’t be explained.

A friend’s birthday will cause us to go down memory lane. It’s just what happens. Time flies apparently. Personally I never have that feeling. I feel like time takes forever. Life is intense and every hour seems to be a milestone. 37 years on this planet have been an eternity and I’m likely to do another 20-30 years time. I’m not complaining. Life is good as per usual. It’s never been anything else but good. I feel as happy as Charlie. Charlie the unicorn. And if you are thinking right now ‘who the heck is Charlie the unicorn?’ - I strongly urge you to look him up on You Tube. We all need more Charlie the unicorn in our lives.

As you might have guessed, I’ve canceled camping. The cucumber is disappointed and so be it. With the current situation of birthdays, news and David being on his knees, I couldn’t come to terms with the decision of leaving the premises. After all this is a commitment!

David the lemon isn’t well and I’m thinking maybe I should inject him a good portion of disinfectant. Just to flush that virus out of him. I miss you Dave!