Christmas and STDs

Sweet Jesus how miserable is this weather. I tried to solve a crossword puzzle but I didn’t even get past the first 3 squares and therefor I’ve given up. I’m all for giving up before fighting your own resistance. I got a hard willpower but once in a while I go thru phases where I’d be like take it or leave it mate. If you don’t speak then adios amigo. If it takes you more than 1 minute to put together a sentence and I’m pms’ing - good luck.

So a friend said I was using way too many exclamation marks and it almost drove him insane so I am off the shouting for a while. Just so you know what’s going on over here. Also there’s a dance ban in clubs again. In Germany. I’ve seriously never seen a German dance. They kinda look like they getting light seizures at times but other than that not much dancing over here anyway. So why the ban dammit! Oh. Sorry. But I really meant that one Yogi! Great now I can’t stop! Always the same when I feel caught in the act. Hang on. It’s gonna be over in a second.

So I have approximately about an hour until I will make my way to the pool. Yes I started swimming again. And no you don’t need a test to go there. They keep it save by keeping distances and sneezing into elbows etc. I’m thinking tho - what if I accidentally sneeze into the pool? I mean it’s usually not the case that I can hold it and make plans on where to park it. It’s one of the only places I get to go without getting a test first and it seems the only place you can be absolutely certain to catch a pandemic aerosol. But hey what can I tell you. If I’d be worried about every fucking thing, I’d also be worried about peoples gonorrhea. Yes there I said it. Why did no-one ever come up with the idea of testing people on STDs before they can go into a public pool and spread their germs? Isn’t it obvious? I mean can you see it in their face if they have it? I really don’t think so. I mean, have you gotten a test after your last circus act with a stranger? Or after you figured out what a jerk or bitch that bumble match was and you had already given in to having fun without protection cause, well, cause they thought it was fine too right? Do you test after every time you went off the rails? I hope the answer is yes. And so you should. As some of you might know, I work for a doctor and if someone asks me about my job I’d tell them pretty straight up that I mostly deal with peoples STDs. The usual respond - and I am not making this up you should know me better is: what’s an STD? Delete. Unfuckingmatch. Strangerdanger.

Other than this life has been exciting. I started mixing again and dancing at home. Because I can. Also winter is here but Jon Snow is still out of sight. I feel like all the cool people are leaving town. What am I gonna do? Clubs closed. A pool filled with germs…

Slowly I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that it’ll never go „back to normal“. This is normal. The new normal is here. There’s going to be masks forever. There’s going to be weirdly named mutants. Soon there will be a special comity to come up with fitting names. Making sure no airline or beverage will take the fall for it. You will be making your kids study pandemic history and covid marketing so they can become big shots in the new age virus industry. All I can say is bring those trikinis back on. You been way to cautious last season. The masks aren’t going anywhere. Don’t be shy. Show us these styles you been holding back cause you felt silly there for a minute.

Apart from being miserable I been depressed also. I miss my friends. I miss partying. And my book is taking ages to publish. So yeah the fuckenings chapter 1-52 formally called ‚stuck with myself‘ will be published as soon as I can figure out the goddamn ebook format. Then I’m gonna release it like a big beautiful fish into the big wide ocean. Talking about oceans. Pacific ocean has 3 c’s and every single one is pronounced differently! And….. bed actually looks like a bed. And I don’t even do drugs guys this is just a regular Monday. Anyhow. I hope you gonna have a good Christmas and New Years Eve and I wish you all the bestest bumble dates in the world in 2022. You earned it. I love you.