The *uckenings part 7

‘Halpy!’ That’s the last sign I got from Jadenchong at 5.22am. Could this be it? Several tries to get in touch with her this morning have failed and I am at the end of my rope.

David luckily recovered out of his misery and suggested to let Jadenchong go. That was a real shock to me! How could I. After all Dave is just a lemon. He appears not to have feelings as we know them. I will let that one slide but I’m hardly impressed about his reaction. Meanwhile my roomies decided to go on an ebike tour and I’m left with the dogs. I am a dog person and I will stand my ground on that. Cats are hustlers and I don’t like it. To be locked up with them is a blessing and I wouldn’t have made it this far without them. Honestly.

Let’s talk about allergies. Have you ever had a swollen face in the morning for no reason? Have you ever had random senseless rashes on your legs? If not, consider yourself a lucky cat! Roughly about 50 percent of our conversations are about intolerances or antihistamine. Bugs are another big issue and the war got to a peak last summer when Ana, Jadenchong, Miss Rambo and I had a continuous bug bite meltdown. Still to this day it has been undecided if it was from sweaty unclean bike seats, perfumed bed sheets or the ants invested sunbeds. Needless to say it was a nightmare and due to paranoia we dove into a 3-week bender during which several other major events happened. Pecel dove with us even though she doesn’t have allergies. That’s because she is a good fish friend. She’s been fairly quite lately but I am too scared to ask her why. Best case – she’s crafting the shit out of her quarantine time. Worse case – she’s slowly melting away. Ana had another bug incident while isolated plus the commencing of Ramadan has put her to yet another test. I’d say she didn’t pass.

The fuckenings are messing with my mind so I’ve made a decision to go camping with a cucumber. David wouldn’t be pleased with that newsflash so keep it on the low. He’d just bring up the squirrel again and I am nearly done with that discussion. I mean you only live once right? So I thought what the heck I’m gonna hang with cucumbers a little more often cause it’s fun. I’m tired of being tired of you Dave! You give me nothing!

I know I will regret this tomorrow but I’m gonna spill the beans. Dave has the virus and is trying to cover it up! What a jerk. I’m deeply disappointed and hurt. Last night I had a dream about him and although it’s a bit of a blur I have a bad feeling when I try to put the pieces together. He must be up to something behind my back so I have to plan my escape with the cucumber wisely.

I have to interrupt the breaking news for another more important fuckening!

Jadenchong has come out of her comatose sleep. She remembers nothing so I’m not going to poke the wound. We’ll let her recover in peace so she can think about what she’s done.

By the way, I’ve heard a new word yesterday. Rainbow concoction. After some research all I found was a colorful starbucks cup. Clearly this must be a conspiracy of the illuminati triangle or such. I’m even more confused than usual and I have to say that I am starting to feel a little lonely. Camping will be good. The more I think about it the more I think it’s a good idea. Camping with the cucumber. I will be safe from Daves disease, safe from the squirrel, safe from the alien sitting in the garden planning god knows what and safe from dogfarts.