The actual *uckenings

It just continues and continues doesn’t it? I got my period a week early and I do not like it. Some surprises we do not need in our lives. Just like unannounced visitors for example. Who does that? Message first. Don’t stand at the front porch and call or ring my bell. Not cool. Unless you have steril pizza. Then maybe.

The plan was to talk about orgasms today but how am I going to pull this off now? If you are under aged please close your browser now.

Well, well. Did you know that women have longer orgasms than man? I didn’t. Apparently men are done within a few seconds while women can go for up to a minute at a time. Also I’ve read that a woman can come up to a hundred times in one hour. That would mean …hang on…30 orgasms lasting 30 seconds and.... this is too hard my head just imploded.

I wonder how this has been analysed. Are these proven facts or are these statistics just according to people filling a questionnaire? What if they lied?

Further down the road I found out that man are usually ready within 3-5 minutes according to studies – if they go straight after it. What is that supposed to mean? A woman takes exactly 22 minutes. Set the timer next time ladies I need proof.

1 % of the male death rate involves intercourse. No female facts around this one. It looks like sex is a lot safer for us than for the boys. Nice to know. Also in French they call it ‘le petite mort’. The little death. Random but I get the point.

Far into the twentieth century people thought that only men could come. Really.

This is disappointing and once again I consider myself lucky.

Meanwhile Jadenchong has been fairly quiet and Miss Rambo is on her way to the airport, which will take her all day. Ana has cut her hair and Pecel is bedmolding.

Bedmolding is a new term describing sitting comfortably in bed with a smartphone, snacks and preferably wine, watching a movie or a series. There is also couchmolding by the way. It basically is the art of not moving while enjoying private entertainment and staying connected to the outside world thru the world wide web. You can bedmold for up to a week at a time if there aren’t any unannounced visitors without pizza disturbing your molding time. It was invented way before lockdown believe it or not and will be going into the history books.

The current pandemic seems to have slowed down a little according to officials and they decided to open up Mc Donald’s again. It’s where all the cool people with pimped cars go now on a Saturday night.

Talking about car events…who is going to organize a drive in theatre around here? They need a comeback so I’m just gonna throw it out there. If you have land, you need to start getting your shit together. If you are one of the 8 people reading this, please spread this idea so someone important can pick it up. I know my 4 friends are reading cause I’ve blackmailed them, so I am talking to the remaining 4 readers – I don't know who you are but do forward this message! I wanto bring back carmolding!